GNF is the fourth of five children. GNF is probably the toughest of all five, with good reason. GNF is as sweet and loving as she can be, but just don't get on her bad side or in the line of fire as she tends to throw things and has great aim! At the age of almost two, this little one has mastered the art of the female mood swing and I couldn't be prouder!
Along with the other four, this baby has brought out things in me I didn't even know were there. Things I wish I'd exhibited with my own three when they were little. Patience, for one. The gift of one-on-one time, for another. Just observing their behaviors and taking in each moment and accomplishment as it came. It's funny the things we'll do for this next generation that we wouldn't dare think of doing with our own... giving them unlimited amounts of sweets then sending them home. Holding them all night long as they sleep because you know that they'll be wide awake as soon as you put them down. Laughing uncontrollably as they entertain us with bodily functions. Snickering as they 'show the love' with that middle finger (still not sure where that one came from) or the many other, unmentionable things that come out of their mouths. Although, I have to admit that when I compare myself to my grandmother, I fall so embarrassingly short. She was the 'mother of all mothers'! She worked all night on a cleaning crew and then took care of her three grandchildren while their mother's worked during the day. There was not a meal that went by that she didn't prepare for us and whomever else showed up at meal time. She managed to head up our Girl Scout troop for years and seemed to enjoy it with everything in her. She made quilts for each of us year-round. She took the time to teach me to sew and cook. She ruled that home with an iron fist and when we got out of line, we had the honor of choosing the switch from the tree that would be used for correction. She showed us the example of faithfully reading her Bible, doing and giving for and to others, and tried to instill in us that she had better not ever catch us wearing pants to church!
I know better than to compare myself to anyone for any reason, but I'm not going to lie... it's hard sometimes. It makes me angry that I have to cut my time short with GNF because I'm not feeling well. It makes me angry that it's difficult to function in this heat and humidity. It makes me angry that even the pool water is too warm to swim in... what's that about???
My grandmother lived a long life of service to the Lord and in that, she lived to give. When I think about the example I'm setting for my grandchildren... ouch. There's not much comparison and today it makes me sad. Tomorrow, I pray I will have a better attitude and can start again. When I close my eyes and see those litte faces in my mind, that's the extra boost I seem to need to keep pressing on. They are more than worth it!
S.
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