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Three years ago today I was being rolled into the operating room for a Quadruple Bypass.



I vividly remember the man rolling me through the door of the holding room and down a series of hallways. 

There were several closed doors down each hallway and I kept thinking, "Where are they taking me... this place is huge!"  Along with, "Any minute now, I'm gonna jump ship and run... I DO NOT want to go through with this!"

As we finally arrived at our destination... aka, MY ROOM, the room where they were going to crack open my chest, stop my heart, do some repair, clean up inside my arteries and then wire me shut, I could not believe just how big this one room actually was.  I had never seen so many huge machines and such in one operating room.  (I used to work at our local hospital, sterilizing surgical instruments and had actually wanted to be a surgical nurse at one point.)

Another thing that sticks out in my mind is my Anesthesiologist.  He was wearing OU scrubs and a hat covered with the OU logo.  He was obviously a big fan as it was almost OU overkill!  (OK, OK, you love OU... I get it! Let's just focus on what we're here for today, shall we?!)  The fact that he was adorably young, handsome and charming made up for the fact that OU was about the last thing on my mind at this point!

One thing that I do not remember was my Cardiac Surgeon coming into the room to do the surgery.  I imagine, by that point, I was already out.  It's probably a good thing as this man was no picnic to be around.  He was all business and had quite an intimidating personality so not getting to see him was just fine with me!

Once surgery was done, I was taken to ICU for a few days.  Again... no picnic.

Once out of ICU and into a regular room, it was there and then I began to realize the challenges I was about to be faced with.  The physical limitations are one thing, but the emotional are quite another.  Unless you've been down this road, you have no idea. 

Overall, when I look back on that time in my life, I find it hard to believe I actually went through with it and survived it.  I really had doubts that I had that kind of strength inside of me.  I guess you do what you have to do when it comes right down to it.  Not to mention, it's times like these when you have to either rely on faith or fear.  Obviously, faith won out.  As they rolled me into that huge surgical suite and the feeling of being overwhelmed tried to overtake me, I remember telling God, "It's all Yours..." and being able to lay back, relax, let go and feeling His peace begin to wash over me.

Three years ago today...



XO