Christmas 2012

Our Christmas... in pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas through the eyes of the babies is the absolute best!  I am blessed beyond blessed to have such amazing daughters (who have amazing men in their lives) and grandchildren.  They make my heart oh, so happy!

 

I am thankful to the God I serve for carrying me through another year of ups and downs.  I know that I know He is the same on the mountain top as He is in the valley and in that I can rest and know peace like never before.

 

May you find peace and rest in Him as we enter into a new year in just a few, short hours.



 

 





Heartbreak

As this year comes to a close, I can't help but look back at all the events, good and bad, that have taken place.  I know that most well meaning people will tell you to try and stay focused on the good, happy things around you, but sometimes life takes unfair punches and you find yourself flat on your back.  This has been my year.  One challenge after another, it seems.

Friday, November 23, 2012 was (and always will be) one of those days that has changed me forever.  It's the day my best friend's 20 year old daughter took her own life.  Out of respect, I will not go into detail, but suffice it to say that this event has had such an impact on so many lives... I don't even know where to begin.  What I do know is that my heart breaks for my friend and her family.  Watching a mother grieve the loss of her child is tearing me up from the inside out.  This is an unimaginable pain.  I want to help.  I want to carry some of the pain for her, but I know I can't.  We want to know why, but even if God Himself were to come to us, face to face, and give us an answer, it probably still wouldn't be enough.  I have to trust that out of this, at some point, some good will come.  Seeing as how it's only been a few weeks, it's hard to imagine that ever taking place, to be honest.

As I begin to get into the blogging groove once again, tonite's post will be short.  This post is dedicated to our beautiful and sweet Hanah.  She is loved.  She is missed.  Her life mattered and meant something.  We will make sure her memory lives on and that her story reaches far and wide, helping many along the way.

Please pray for this family.  Our lives go on, but they will live with this for the rest of theirs. 

As I always try to stress in my posts, make sure you let your loved ones know how much they mean to you.  Make yourself available to them in good times and in bad.  You never know what lies down the road and living with regrets isn't easy.



SB

The Little Things

... and what little things in my life do I enjoy?


Hearing the laughter of my grandbabies.  (Well, that's a huge thing from little people.)

A full gas tank when I get in the car for a day of errands.

Sitting by (and getting to minister to) the nicest people on the airplane.

A tall glass of fresh, sweet tea.

Hearing my cell phone ring the first time.

No waiting at the nail place.

Checking things off my 'To Do' list.

Reading HAPPY FB posts from chronic complainers.

Figuring out new software... and remembering the steps I used.

Seeing the proper use of YOUR, YOU'RE and THERE, THEIR and THEY'RE.

Great hair days.

Not sweating after getting my makeup on.

Chili, Fall days.

A happy teenager in the house!



What are some of those little things in life that you enjoy?



XO



Saying Goodbye

*** This post was written one year ago, after the sudden passing of my brother. I could never bring myself to post it before now. Now, I feel ready... I think.



I got the first phone call at 12:33 a.m. I was asleep and the phone was on such a soft setting that I didn't wake up and get to it in time to answer. Once I did pick up the phone, I checked the caller ID and it was our dad's name and number. I, immediately, thought he was sick and would be heading to the Emergency Room. I hurried in to change clothes and get ready to go when the phone rang a minute later. It was the same number. My stomach dropped and my heart began to race. I tried to prepare myself, mentally, for whatever it was that I was about to hear.

As I answered the phone, the voice on the other end identified himself as a Local Police Officer. He was there to notify our dad that you had passed away a few hours earlier that evening at your apartment and one of us needed to make a phone call to your town's police department to get some details. Our dad said he couldn't do it so it was up to me. I wondered why we couldn't just call from our house, but our officer said that wouldn't work, either. It had to be one of us from my dad's phone number.

I am not sure what was said by either of us after that. The only thing I knew, for sure, was that I needed to get to our dad's.

I struggled to make it over to the bed to wake up my husband to try and explain what had just taken place. I kept telling him that if they needed us to identify your body, I couldn't do it. He was as disoriented as I was, especially since I wasn't making any sense with trying to give details that I'm sure he thought I was just grabbing out of the air. He finally sat up and said, "What happened? What are you saying?"

As I tried to slow down and take a breath, I realized my stomach was wretching and I was about to get sick. Leaning over, on the bed, I began to calm down. He, then, got up and proceeded to call our dad's house to speak to the policeman.

Standing in my closet, trying to take everything in, I began to hyperventilate. I absolutely could not catch my breath and fought, with everything in me, not to pass out. My knees buckled, but I managed to stay upright. The last thing any of us needed was for me to end up in the hospital.

Once I had gotten ready to go, we decided that my husband would stay home and let Jordy sleep since we still didn't really understand what was going on. I wondered if I'd be able to drive safely there. My husband wondered the same thing. We had no choice. I got in the car and headed out.

What normally would have taken about 25 minutes, only took me about 15 and even then, I can't recall too much of the drive over, other than praying in the Spirit incessantly. It's all I knew and had the strength to do.

Once I pulled up to the house, my heart began to race again as I saw the police car parked in front.

I parked, got out of my car and headed for the front door. As I reached to open the screen door, I remember so vividly, stopping to take in a deep breath. I honestly just wanted to turn and run in the other direction, avoiding yet another unexpected, tragic event in our lives.

As I stepped inside, I saw our dad sitting at the head of the dining room table, like always, while the policeman was talking to him. Pops had that intense look on his face. You know the one. I know you know the one.

As I sat on the edge of the loveseat, the policeman introduced himself and shook my hand. I, immediately, recognized the name as being a relative of someone I'd attended school with.

I got up to go see how Pops was. As I approached him, he never looked up at me. He only held out his arm to hug me. I lost it. I remember mentioning something in his ear that this has all got to be a mistake. "Are they even sure they have the right person?" is what I recall saying. He didn't respond.

We both gave the police officer permission to make the call for us and, thankfully, he did. I couldn't hear everything the other police department was saying and I was straining to see what our police officer was writing down as he was relayed information. Still nothing. My heart was pounding. How could this all be happening?!

This is one of those life-altering moments no one is ever prepared for or wants to experience.

After a few minutes on the phone, our officer ended his conversation. He took a deep breath and began to tell us the details of how you passed away. To say it was surreal, does not even begin to describe it. It was a nightmare. An unbelievable nightmare.

They informed us that due to the circumstances, there would be an autopsy, however, the Medical Examiner had made an initial determination that your passing was most likely due to a heart attack.

At the age of 48, a heart attack.

We knew you had your battles with diabetes and high blood pressure, but your heart?

Pops kept wondering if maybe you had quit taking your medicine. I found out, later, that you were adament about keeping on top of it, especially in the last few years.

The police officer asked if there was anything else he could do for us. We declined, but thanked him profusely. I cannot begin to tell you how impressive this young man was with his compassion and sensitivity. You could tell he was genuine and sincere when he told us that if there were anything else he could do, just ask.

As I walked him out and asked several more questions, he obliged and answered as best he could. Once we got to our cars, he reached over and gave me a hug, again giving his condolences. I realized then, how much more is required of our police officers than just giving tickets and arresting people. I know you will probably never see this, but thank you, Officer Chris.

Once back inside, I called home to let them know what I'd found out and that I would be staying the night at Pops'. Having to repeat the story for the first time was like a dagger through my stomach. However, I knew it would be the first of many times I'd be repeating it. And it was. I have since quit answering the phone and am keeping to myself for the time being. It's all too much for my brain to take in... that my brother is gone now.

As Pops and I sat in the living room, I soon realized we were both staring up at the ceiling, lost in our thoughts. Every once in a while one of us would say something, but for the most part, we were numb. Nothing more to do or say. It was 2 a.m. and we decided it'd be best to wait to call the closest family members until morning. Helplessness set in.

Still needing answers, I decided the one person who could help me was your roommate, Gary. I called and left a message. It wasn't long before he called back. Apparently, the Medical Examiner didn't leave the scene until after 2 a.m. so Gary was unable to call before that.

Gary, understandably, was also in shock. He was the one who found you. He was the one who tried to revive you, even though he knew it was too late. He was the one that had to watch them wheel you out in a body bag. As he continued to explain, I could hear that familiar shortness of breath in his voice. I had had it earlier.

Finally, I saw 7 a.m. roll around and decided to call my girls first, then our aunts and extended family members. The reaction was all the same... shock first, numb and then more shock. Having to explain what happened, without really even knowing, didn't take long to before it took it's toll. I had to go back home and try to get some sleep.

I got home around 9:30 the next morning, completely exhausted. I slept until about 2:30 that afternoon with this incredible feeling of disorientation when I woke up. Finally, I'd come to the conclusion it was real. You really are gone and are not coming back. I began to feel myself getting upset with you because you didn't return my text that I'd sent the week before. I just wanted you to know that I'm still here and will always be here for you if you're ever in need of anything. I wasn't sure you knew that until Gary reassured me you did.

Later, after we had made your funeral arrangements, I had a chance to visit with Gary a little more. He shared some things with me that gave me so much comfort. He shared how you were fiercely proud of your nieces. (When I told them this, they began to tear up and were very touched, by the way. I only wish they could have heard this coming straight from you, but that's all right.)

We have decided to hold off having your service until Wednesday in case anyone from out of state wishes to come. Today is Monday and I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. Once again, that brick wall has jumped out in front of me and I feel helpless. Wednesday seems like a long time away and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

Making your arrangements, going through old photos, recalling old memories is something I never thought I'd have to do... ever. I am tired and weary. This has been, yet, another reminder of the fragility of life. How we must do whatever it takes to let those that mean the most to us know they exactly what they mean. Whether it's a heart attack, a car accident, whatever... like you, my big brother, they might not be here tomorrow.

In some ways, Wednesday can't come soon enough. In other ways, I still need more time to process this. There is nothing more to do now, but wait and wait some more. Part of me will never be ready to say 'goodbye'. You were my partner in crime. You were the reason I spent so much time in 'time out' when we were little. You were the one who drove me to threaten your life with that knife... enough said. ***I'm not like that, anymore!

In closing, I have gone through some old pictures that are how I remember life with you the most...



For my brother... Norm Ross, Jr.
I learned much more than you will ever know from you and your example.

S.

From what I understand, even with the other health issues my brother dealt with, never once did he have symptoms of any kind whatsoever of a heart attack. Please use our story of loss to save your life or life of a loved one through regular check ups and a healthy lifestyle. Cardiovascular Disease does not discriminate.

No Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just wondering... anybody out there know when the tears will begin to subside and life will return to normal?

Not Exactly

Well... the day I'd had planned out for yesterday didn't go quite the way I'd hoped.

Did I get to try out the new video?  Not exactly.

Did I make it to the football game to watch my granddaughter cheer?  Not exactly.

Did I get my closet cleaned out and organized?  Not exactly.

Did I have lunch with our Pastors?  Not exactly.

What, exactly, did I get done?  A few things in the morning, but ended up going to the Emergency Room early afternoon due to upper back pain (I'd been dealing with for the last two days), plus some other things going on. 

What was the diagnosis?  They weren't exactly sure what was going on, but after running the standard tests they determined, even though it wasn't my heart, they wanted to admit me and keep an eye on my heart enzyme level.  It's a long story, but let me just say that being in the ER when it's a full house is not where you want to be!

Needless to say, I packed up and came home.  It was obvious that being there at that time was doing more harm than good when it came to my blood pressure!

It's been a pretty good day, despite the pain that is still in my back.  I choose, however, to push on and do what needs to be done.  They can take me to the hospital when I collapse and don't have a say over the matter! 

As I talked on the phone with a friend today, explaining what happened, I caught myself saying, "I wish I'd have enjoyed my life before all these health issues hit!"

Truer words were never spoken.

To say, 'Life is short' seems so cliche and cheesy, but it is so true.  I can't even explain to you how true that phrase is.  Please don't wait until something drastic happens before you decide to get out and live a beautiful life... DO IT NOW!  You just never know.



Go out of your way to be kind and help someone out today.  Remember... we reap what we sow.



XO

 

How Time Flies...

... when you're having fun! 

I can't believe it's almost been another week since I've last written anything here.  Have I been extremely busy?  Well, yes and no.  Still busy learning this editing software.  Pitbull.  Tenacity... remember?  I can't tell you how many late nights I've spent working on these videos for church/youtube in order for them NOT to look cheesy!  It's thrown off my internal clock... and I love it!

Today, however, I have decided I will not spend as much time on this computer.  Instead, I will work around the house, clean out my car, try out my new exercise vid, go have lunch with my wonderful Pastors and then go watch my oldest granddaughter cheer at a football game, while taking pix and vids like crazy!

Also, today is bittersweet as it's my daughter's best friend's birthday.  She's 16 and very sweet!  Why is it bittersweet?  Because my daughter's own 16th birthday is right around the corner and am I the least bit prepared for this milestone?  Short answer:  NO!  They grow so quickly.  She'll be off to college before I know it.  Sheesh!  Enough.

I've been praying about whether or not to go to Key West for Fall Break.  This time, my middle daughter is going with me... can't wait to show her the place I love so much.  As weird as it is, that place is also just wonderful.  I leave a piece of me there each time I get on that plane to fly back home.

What else?  So much randomness going on here...

The other night, at church, our Pastor made a statement about making decisions and choices that I've been pondering and find very fascinating.  "The decision to not make a decision is our decision."  (I think I got that right.)

In this instance, the topic of our class was on Soul Winning and the decisions people make.  But, for me, today I have decided that I will:

Make it a good day.

Share a smile and/or encouraging word with everyone I come into contact.

Love extravagantly.

Organize my office closet.

Finish a client's order.




I'd better stop there.  Already looks like it's going to be a full day and I need to remember to pace myself.  I can this.  I can do this.  I can do this...



Decide to go out and make it a good day for you AND for those you meet.



XO

Overwhelmed

I finally made it over to my dad's house this afternoon to continue sorting through things.  I can't begin to tell you what happens to me, emotionally, as I approach the driveway turnoff.  It's tough.  But, I do it... overwhelmed and all, I do it because no one else can touch their things or decide what to do with them but me!

Did I mention how hard it is?  I want to keep everything, especially if either of my parents have written on it, but I know I can't.  If I throw something away, I feel the guilt start to set in.

My mom's piano

 

 





One of the many song books that bring back so many memories

Tonite, my middle daughter sacrificed her time and went over with me so that I wouldn't be alone.  I cannot begin to put into words how grateful I am that she would do that for me.  We had a couple of good cries, laughs and everything in between.  We then went to dinner to finish off our evening at my fav, La Fiesta.  I sure enjoyed having you there tonite, J2! 

I'm drained.  I stayed up way too late last night in order to figure out a video editing program and, even though I overslept for church, I have to say that I'm like a pit bull when it comes to digging into a new project and taking on the challenge of figuring it out!  Tenacity.  Determination.  I can say those are two traits I know I have that can get me into trouble, but sometimes it's worth it!

This week, I have got to make an effort to spend some time with friends that I feel I've pushed off to the side, unintentionally.  Lunches, dinners, shopping and just spending time together is what we need.  However, lately, I'll admit I'm not much fun to be around and I feel so guilty about that.  I think I just need more time and I certainly hope my closest friends can understand that.  Hopefully, there will come a day in the near future that I can see my way out of this place and into the Light.

It's late and I'm exhausted.  Time to go to sleep and try again tomorrow.  So much to do and I don't want to waste a minute of my day.

Remember to show some love to those special people in your life... you just never know.



XO

Happy Birthday, Sweet Little One

Today is my fourth grandchild's 3rd birthday. 

We babysat four of the little ones last night and as I watched this one child, in particular, I couldn't help but think back to the day she was born.

I had to miss this blessed event because I was recovering from heart surgery in another town.  However, I do remember getting the call that my daughter was in labor and going to the hospital.  It was bittersweet for me, especially since I didn't know how long it would be before I would get to see and hold her.

To be honest, I can remember feeling anger trying to creep in as I lay in that hospital bed, an hour away from all the activity.  However, thanks to technology and my best friend, I was able to see this little sweetheart immediately after her birth via computers. 

Now... well, now she is so full of energy, life, passion, cuddles and all things girly and wonderful.  She has her own kind of amazingness and that's one thing (out of many) that I so love about her!



Happy 3rd Birthday, sweet little one.  You don't know it, yet, but you were (and still are) such a bright spot in my life at a dark time and for that I'm even more thankful for your arrival into our lives.

I love you!



XO



Friday Confessions

I read several other blogs and am seeing a real trend with the Friday Confessional thing, so... you guessed it.  I'm going to, once again, do my Friday Confessions.  I do what I can to keep up with the trends, as exhausting and ridiculous as they may seem!

Here goes...


I just bought a Patti LaBelle CD and am loving it.

This cooler weather does something inside of me that I can't even explain... I love, love, love it!

I can't understand why I find the Kardashian family so fascinating.

I may or may not use shopping as a form of retail therapy.

Sephora may or may not be considering changing it's name to 'Stephora'!

I have been off my beloved Cream Soda since March of this year!  You do the math.

George Clooney is in my town to shoot a movie and I may or may not take a day just to try and track him down!

I may or may not dread picture day at my daughter's school due to the absurd amount of stress it puts on us all!

Rosie O'Donnell's heart episode... hmmm.  Where shall I begin?  First of all, I'm glad she's fine and is recovering from it, however, why do we not hear about all us 'regular' people who have gone through something similar, or worse?  I may or may not be blogging on this issue in the near future.

Family first.  What's so hard to understand about that?!

I may or may not want to strangle those who go out in public while sicker than a dog, exposing the rest of us to their illness!

I may or may not have accidentally hit a turkey that came out of nowhere and it exploded upon impact... seriously!

I may or may not have been stung on the butt by a scorpion... not once, but twice in the same day.  Long story.  Don't ask.

Hormones.  WTH?!

I bought my first Christmas gifts the other day!  Yay me!

Pinterest and I have a love/hate relationship.

I wish I could do my twenties and thirties over again.

I wish I'd have kept a journal throughout my lifetime.

Travel is my coping mechanism at this moment in time.



And that would be all for today, folks.  Go out and make it a good one OR stay in and send some cyber love to someone going through a hard time.



XO

Randomness



Due to the fact that it's the middle of the night and I'm wide awake, unable to form a lucid thought at the moment, it's time to do another RANDOM post.  Just because I want to try to keep up with regular posting AND because I can.

 

Let the randomness begin...

 

On this day, 30 years ago, my husband and I had our first date.

 

I'm planning my next trip... this time to the Navajo Reservation to see my relatives and take my youngest daughter so that she (and I) can meet many relatives we've yet to meet and to see what 'Rez Life' is really like.  Besides the fact that the scenery is absolutely, amazingly beautiful!  Right now, we're just in the planning stages so we'll see what happens.

 

I'd love to learn Italian. 

 

I'd love to be Italian!

 

My hub's back is still bothering him, but he won't go to the doctor.  We're continuing to pray and believe for complete healing.  I can't stand to see him in pain like this!

 

I'm learning the Final Cut Pro program and even though they claim it's user- friendly, I'm finding that that's not altogether true.  At least in my case!

 

Constant Kidney Stone pain sucks!

 

I'm really fighting the urge to get a little house dog.  Another Min Pin, to be exact.

 

I feel the need to make some changes in my life, overall.  More on that later.  Maybe.

 

Little Ricky just got the lead in his school play.

 

The '68 Camaro... my dream car.

 

I need to be more intentional in certain areas of my life. 

 

I'd love to have the desire to sit and sew like I used to.

 

I'm so loving this cooler weather!

 

Wonder what it was like being a 1950's housewife.

 

Wonder what this 2012 housewife will be doing today.

 

 

 

Whatever you do today, do it in love and with joy!

 

 

 

XO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



3

Three years ago today I was being rolled into the operating room for a Quadruple Bypass.



I vividly remember the man rolling me through the door of the holding room and down a series of hallways. 

There were several closed doors down each hallway and I kept thinking, "Where are they taking me... this place is huge!"  Along with, "Any minute now, I'm gonna jump ship and run... I DO NOT want to go through with this!"

As we finally arrived at our destination... aka, MY ROOM, the room where they were going to crack open my chest, stop my heart, do some repair, clean up inside my arteries and then wire me shut, I could not believe just how big this one room actually was.  I had never seen so many huge machines and such in one operating room.  (I used to work at our local hospital, sterilizing surgical instruments and had actually wanted to be a surgical nurse at one point.)

Another thing that sticks out in my mind is my Anesthesiologist.  He was wearing OU scrubs and a hat covered with the OU logo.  He was obviously a big fan as it was almost OU overkill!  (OK, OK, you love OU... I get it! Let's just focus on what we're here for today, shall we?!)  The fact that he was adorably young, handsome and charming made up for the fact that OU was about the last thing on my mind at this point!

One thing that I do not remember was my Cardiac Surgeon coming into the room to do the surgery.  I imagine, by that point, I was already out.  It's probably a good thing as this man was no picnic to be around.  He was all business and had quite an intimidating personality so not getting to see him was just fine with me!

Once surgery was done, I was taken to ICU for a few days.  Again... no picnic.

Once out of ICU and into a regular room, it was there and then I began to realize the challenges I was about to be faced with.  The physical limitations are one thing, but the emotional are quite another.  Unless you've been down this road, you have no idea. 

Overall, when I look back on that time in my life, I find it hard to believe I actually went through with it and survived it.  I really had doubts that I had that kind of strength inside of me.  I guess you do what you have to do when it comes right down to it.  Not to mention, it's times like these when you have to either rely on faith or fear.  Obviously, faith won out.  As they rolled me into that huge surgical suite and the feeling of being overwhelmed tried to overtake me, I remember telling God, "It's all Yours..." and being able to lay back, relax, let go and feeling His peace begin to wash over me.

Three years ago today...



XO

Success!

The party for my husband's 50th birthday was a success. 

He is truly an amazing man and deserves to be celebrated.  So glad many of his friends could come out and 'show him some love'!

 

 

 

When I say the party was a success... I'm also saying I SURVIVED all the planning, setting up and running around, making pickups!  It truly was an answer to prayer that I was able to maintain the amount of stamina I had.  That makes me happy and gives me confidence.  (Not enough confidence to want to do this again anytime soon, but it is a great boost to my self-esteem!)

 

Now.  Let's talk about being 50.  I honestly cannot believe he is 50.  Where did all the years go?  Why did they have to fly by so quickly?

 

If I had one piece of advice to give, it would be to... well, there's no way I can give just ONE!  So, here's some advice to ponder:

 

Life is short.  In the grand scheme of things, it really is very short (or if you're one who thrives on misery, it can seem very long... change your attitude) so make each and every day count.

 

Don't push your little ones to grow up so quickly.  Enjoy every little stage of their little lives... and be sure to TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES!

 

Always carry a camera of some kind with you... I promise there will come a time when you'll be glad you did.  (Oh, and write the name of the person and the date on the back of the picture.  After going through my dad's pictures, I have so many that have no info on them and now there is no one to tell me the background of that image!)

 

Don't sweat the small stuff.  I know, it's cliche, but it is certainly true.  Most of the stuff we worry about robs us of our time and our joy.  Sometimes, you just have to know when to let it go and then let it go and move on.

 

Get out and make some good memories with your loved ones.  You don't have to create a huge, dream vacation or anything like that.  Have a cookout at the local park and invite all your friends and family.  TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES and VIDEO! 

 

Be spontaneous.  Within reason.

 

Forgive quickly and move on.

 

Living a happy life is a choice, just like anything else in this world.  It is what YOU choose to make it.  Upset with someone about something?  Go to them and work it out somehow or know when it's time to forgive and walk away.

 

If you feel led to do something out of the ordinary with or for someone... DO IT!  Don't wait and think that you'll get around to it later, do it and do it soon!  Example:  During last season's basketball playoffs, I suggested to my husband and daughter that we get some pizza and go over to my dad's house to watch the games with him... he loved sports and since our state's team was one of the last two standing, we were all into this last game.  They agreed.  However, when the time came, we didn't do it.  The last game came and went and then my dad passed away.   I don't get a do-over with that one.  I blew it.  I had good intentions, but sometimes that's not enough.  I have several other stories just like this, but the moral here is... Don't delay.  Do it today!

 

Lighten up.  Try not to take life and what it throws at you so seriously.  Remember... it's not what we go through, it's how we go through it!

 

 

 

With that, I'll bring today's post to an end.  I've decided to take my own advice and be spontaneous and invite my oldest granddaughter over to spend the night with us and she is on her way as we speak, or as I write.  Gotta run and get my camera ready...

 

 

 

XO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





Back In The Saddle

I've successfully managed to blog for two consective nights.  I do believe that's a record... at least for me, anyway.

Today was filled with phone calls, party planning and letter writing.  The big 5-0 Party is coming quickly and I'm starting to freak out.

I used to be able to plan a party, cook the food, bake the cake and everything else a good get-together involved, but now... to say that it's a challenge is quite the understatement of the century!  When did this happen???

I do hope my husband isn't too upset with me when he finds out what we're up to!  He isn't one who enjoys being center-stage at all.  It should be interesting to see how he reacts.

I'm so tired that I think I'm going to shut things down for the night and rest up since I have an early call to be at our grandson's Grandparent's Day celebration at his school.  I'm so amazed at how quickly these little ones are growing up!

Pictures to come later... 



XO 

Playing Catch-Up

Wow.  It's been over two months since my last post.  Can I just say that so much has gone on, it's left my head spinning!

First of all, my dad passed away, unexpectedly, on July 1st.  I had gone over to check on him when I couldn't reach him by phone and ended up finding him.  He was already gone due to cardiac arrest.  It has nearly done me in.  He and I were the last two of our little family of four and we knew, no matter what, we always had each other's backs.  Now... well, he's gone and a big part of me is gone with him.  We've been through so much throughout my life and it is only by a miracle that forgiveness took place and our relationship was restored to better than before.  I am thankful for the last five years we had.  It was, by far, the best and I will treasure those last years with my daddy.



Whew... that was tough to type!  Moving on...

Due to my dad's passing, I've been left with all the business details to wrap up.  If it weren't for my husband, I would have jumped ship a long time ago!  He has been the one to get the ball rolling with the lawyers, financial advisors, utilities, etc.  I can't remember when I've had to sign my name so much!

Today, for instance, I spent an hour working with the lady at the DMV to change my dad's vehicles into my name.  Yes, an hour and that was with NO waiting!  It's days like today, when I have to go take care of business and be reminded, once again, that he is not coming back that I find to be the hardest.

Moving on again...

Before my whole world was turned upside down, we had been trying to decide where to go for vacation.  After the turn of events, it was just assumed we would not be going anywhere.  I was in no way, shape or form able or willing to commit to a solid decision about anything.  Half the time, it felt like (and still does) I didn't know which end was up.

However, after having a particularly bad evening about three weeks after my dad's passing, my husband decided it was time for us to go ahead with the vacation and told me to start planning.  After much thought and debate, we decided to go ahead with it since nothing I did here was going to change anything.  We decided to use our passports we had just gotten and head off to the Bahamas.  Atlantis, on Paradise Island, to be exact.



It was beautiful and so peaceful.  Even though the tears still found their way out from time to time while there, I was able to take in the sights and just 'get away' from the heartache that waited at home.  It was the trip of a lifetime and I am thankful we were able to go.

As far as my health is concerned, the stress of the last few months has tried to take its toll by causing some digestive issues.  Not to mention that my daughter and I brought home a Bahamian bug that was one wicked little sucker!  He hung on for almost two weeks and it was one of the worst two weeks of our lives.  Once I thought I was finally over it, something started up again with me unable to keep anything on my stomach and landing me in the Emergency Room getting fluids and pain meds for stomach cramps!  Doctor had mentioned he thought I might have to stay the night, but, thankfully, I managed to talk my way out of it. 

Today was pretty much the first day I'd gotten out and done anything in about two weeks and, even though it was about 105 degrees out, it was nice to get out.

Tomorrow, I'll be having a couple of friends out to swim and soak up the last of the hot, summer days and just enjoying each other's company.  I look forward to doing nothing, even though there is plenty I should be doing!

School has started and our youngest is a Sophomore this year.  I am so proud of my daughter.  Mostly, because she is nothing and I mean NOTHING like I was at that age!  She has been through more in the last few years than most adults and I so admire her faith and strength.  Needless to say, she has gotten ME through some rough moments.  So thankful for her!

What's next?  Hmmm...   We're gearing up to celebrate my husband's 50th birthday!  Wow.  50.  I'll save my thoughts on that for another post.  Just let me say that I teared up as I picked out a birthday card for him today.

As for celebrations... the 3rd Anniversary of the Heart Attack/quitting smoking has come and gone.  I decided to celebrate by going out and making it a Random Act of Kindness Day with my kid.  I won't go into detail on what all took place that day, but it was one of the most moving and heartwarming days I've had in such a long time.  I want to do another in the near future!  By the way, if you've never performed a RAoK, I highly recommend it.  You'll not only touch someone elses life, you'll find that your own life will be affected, too.

There.  All caught up, I think.  Well, with the major stuff, anyway.

'Til next time...



XO

It's Coming Quickly

It's coming...

THREE YEARS is fast approaching!

Am needing ideas on how to celebrate... send some, will ya???



XO

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Not all heart patients or Pacemaker recipients are sixty and above.

(I ran across this image as I was doing a little research on Pacemaker/Defibrillator Implants... unfortunately, not

 the first image I've run across that gives the false realization that only the elderly have cardiac issues.)

Sometimes they look like this...

What's wrong with this picture?

The fact that Heart Disease is so rampant in our society today.

It's time to get educated and fight back!

S.