Wedding season is upon us with a vengeance, it seems. So far, I've received a few invites along with some 'Save The Date' notifications. All this bliss has caused me to do some heavy thinking in the matrimonial area of life and what these blinded-by-love, don't-have-a-clue, young innocents might potentially have lying in store for them ahead...
It all started as I sat in church and listened to the Pastor as he taught a new series that dealt with various family issues. One of the issues was an illustration of how the bride readies herself for her groom on their special day by making sure, starting months in advance, that everything about her and her most important day is nothing less than pure perfection. As for the groom... these days it seems that even the grooms are as involved and caught up in the wedding details as much, if not moreso, than most brides. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about this one... needless to say, things have changed quite a bit in this area since I got married a while ago.
As the Pastor continued his sermon, he began describing how this isn't real life and I couldn't agree more. Why not, instead of seeing her at her very best walking down that aisle, she comes in as a walking mess, carrying with her a little infertility or maybe some cancer here and there, oh and throw in a dash of closet drinking to top things off? As she nears the love of her life, the one she's about to pledge her life to and offer up those vows with, she sees him standing there, waiting to greet her... only he, too, is a mess with issues of his own. With each step she takes, she sees the scars from his past heart surgeries, the oxygen tank he now drags around with him due to the emphysema from years of smoking, and then she realizes that tank isn't the only thing her beloved is dragging around. She notices one side of his body is lifeless from the recent stroke he suffered, leaving him partially paralyzed, which explains the wheelchair waiting at his side.
Sounds a bit on the dramatic side, doesn't it? Acutally, it holds more truth than I had ever thought possible. Well, that is until I got married and suddenly realized that life sometimes just isn't the way we dream or hope it will be for us. I've always said that the wedding is the easy part... staying married is where the challenge lies. It's in these challenges of hearing those words, "You've miscarried..." It's in these challenges of getting that phone call informing you that your husband was just hit by a car while out working roadside. It's in these challenges of getting laid off from a really good job. It's in the challenges of running to the hospital to say good-bye to a dying loved one together. It's in the challenge of facing a major crisis, not knowing if your wife will pull through or ever be the same physically or emotionally that our true selves are revealed. These challenges and many more I won't list are just a few my husband and I have had to face at one point or another since getting married. Obviously, none of it has been easy, but that's life and life has a funny way of sometimes not playing fair.
I guess this is where I get to share about the man I married almost thirty years ago. Coming from two very different worlds, we were instantly drawn to each other. Well, almost instantly, but since I'm fairly certain my children will be reading this, as far as they're concerned, it was love at first sight!
From the very beginning, I knew he was a loving, caring man with many outstanding qualities that were hard to come by in anyone I'd previously been seeing. We've both always believed that we were meant to be together... "You're the reason God made Oklahoma" was his song for me. Life was full of exciting and adventurous times at the beginning of our marriage. However, it didn't take long for the reality of facing our first challenge, a miscarriage, to blindside us. Neither of us saw it coming and it was hard. But, he was there for me every step of the way, even though I knew he had to be hurting, too. He was man enough to take care of my needs before his own. Soon after, his mother passed away suddenly. Another hit that left us reeling to the core.
Many things, good and bad, have taken place since then, most recently being my heart issues. I have to say that he, along with my best friend, Kym, never left my side before, during and after the Bypass Surgery. I won't go into detail, but this man... this superman of mine, did some things no husband should ever have to do for his wife. Ever! But, he did them and never once complained. He pushed me to do the required walking once I'd gotten to the 'Cardiac Boot Camp Floor' even though I was less than cooperative. He made sure I got to all my doctor appointments and Cardiac Rehab appointments, even if he had to reschedule all his appointments for the day. He has made more dinners and cleaned up afterward than I can count. He has played Mr. Mom to our youngest daughter with taking her to all her practices and games. And... I'm proud and most thankful to say he's still hanging in there with me without one complaint through any of it! I think I would go as far to say he's my biggest supporter and number one fan. He believes I can do anything and encourages me to at least try. He's one amazingly, wonderful, loving, loyal and devoted guy... that's his name, by the way. Guy. And I'm one very blessed and grateful girl to have him by my side!
Now, as for all those newly married couples or those just about to be newly married, take heart... life will throw some really tough curve balls your way, but don't get discouraged. Remember those vows... "in good times and in bad. In sickness and health. For richer or poorer..." Make them real in your lives because the issues of life are very real and you will need each other. Most importantly, if God is truly the center of your union, as He should be, you will make it through those challenges intact... maybe a little battered and bruised, but stronger together and two are always better than one. For if one falls, the other will pick him up...
Thank you for continuing to pick me up, Guy!
xoxoxo
